It seems I read something at least once a month about activists, the EPA or local governments trying to ban one of our tested, proven and highly regulated chemical tools. The manufacturing community is in a constant fight to keep these products on the market so that you can accomplish the ridiculously difficult task of maintaining healthy plants at mowing heights measured in microns.
|
|
I’m currently at the Carolinas GCSA Conference & Trade Show in Myrtle Beach doing my usual speaking and teaching stuff. But last night, I got into a discussion with several guys about the prospects of keeping products like MSMA on the market and why it seems superintendents don’t always jump into the fight. That led to a semiargument about which chemicals are the “must-haves” of the business. Which compounds could we just not live without?
I went to bed pondering that question and woke this morning with the answer ringing like an alarm clock in my head.
The single, most important, can’t-live-without-it chemical that drives this business is … caffeine.
Whether it’s that quick cup in the morning before you and the dog head off to the course, the double-shot espresso from Starbucks on the way or the humongous Diet Coke you grab at 7-Eleven, caffeine is the fuel that revs the vast majority of us up for another tough day at the office. It is, for many, the most indispensable tool we have in our arsenal. Grogginess is like a summertime turf disease … you have to hit it hard and often or you’re in trouble.
This got me thinking about how we interact with the wonder compound of caffeine. A few observations:
• I’ve been offered coffee many times at maintenance facilities and decided to pass because of the “condition” of the coffee maker. Please, for God’s sake, clean your coffee makers every once in a while.
• If you stay in hotels, you probably understand that the crap they put in your room is not actually coffee. It’s some kind of brown sawdust packaged up in a shiny wrapper. Do not drink hotel coffee. It will kill you.
• I stubbornly refuse to use the terms “venti” or “grande” or “tall” when I order at Starbucks. Instead, I say large, medium or small. It’s a bitter, personal war I’m waging against pretentiousness. Also, if anyone introduces themselves as a “barrista” instead of a “coffee server,” it should be legal to smack them upside the head.
• I have no problem with folks who prefer getting their juice from soft drinks, but coffee goes better with cigarettes. I guess I’m old-fashioned that way.
• If you haven’t tried Red Bull or one of the other supercaffeinated energy drinks, you’re missing out on a great buzz. For best results, mix them with some imported Finnish or Russian high-octane potato juice. It’s the best of two worlds.
Well, that’s all from beautiful Myrtle Beach. The Starbucks in the hotel lobby opened 10 minutes ago, and I feel the need to go smack a barrista.
Pat Jones is president of Flagstick, LLC.