Striving to take a role in leadership as a woman is important, says Vickie Milazzo, author of “Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman”, but it’s just as necessary to “lean back” and encourage other women in the industry.
“To me, ‘leaning back’ meaning bringing other women with you as you achieve,” says Milazzo. “Though women in the workplace have come a long way, we often still make less than men who do the same jobs as us. We are still systematically overlooked for promotions, even when we’re more qualified than the man who ends up with the job. I think those of us who do reach success have a responsibility to bring women into our own power teams as we achieve big things.”
Becoming a business owner wasn’t something she achieved on her own, she says, but with the help of others, both men and women. But connecting with women encouraged her to take on bigger challenges, and made her realize she needed to help and mentor other women with the same career drive as she.
“Every day, I’m struck by what women can achieve when they work together,” she says. “Without discounting the special bond that women can have with men, the fact is, we also need to fuse with other women in order to maximize our female potential. When you are connected to other strong women who complement, understand and care about you, you will feel nurtured, empowered, inspired and fired up, and they feel that way too. That’s what ‘leaning back’ is all about.”
Here are a few tips both men and women can use to support equality in the industry, says Milazzo:
Be a mentor. Not enough can be said of what we learn from others who have encountered problems similar to our own. With leadership comes the responsibility to mentor and pass on skills to up and coming trainees, she says.
“Being a mentor to women is a big priority for me. I look forward to the time I spend mentoring women, and it always proves to be time well-spent because in the end I think I learn just as much from them as they do from me,” says Milazzo.
Speak up. It’s not difficult to find someone who can grow turf. That’s certainly not how anyone wants to be perceived at their job, but that’s what happens to women who choose to lay low. Lead the way by being an active member of the team. Don’t be afraid to be make your voice heard.
“Caution women in your organization from shrinking into their chairs and becoming invisible employees,” says Milazzo. “Get in the middle of everything and bring new ideas to the table. Help the women in your organization leverage the things that make them unique.”
Teach negotiation. Women who aren’t used to negotiation in their careers are especially susceptible to being intimidated by a show of force. Show the women in your network they’re effective workers and shouldn’t be afraid to demand respect.
“I’ve worked with plenty of attorneys, met some tough negotiators and seen many different negotiation styles,” says Milazzo. “When I’m up against a pit bull, I’ll take a walk. I anticipate every possible objection and get myself into a Zen-like state. When it comes time to negotiate for real, I am centered and ready. I know if I allow myself to be intimidated or provoked instead of remaining calm and professional, the negotiations are destined to fail. It’s this kind of advice that doesn’t always make it down the line to women as they’re trying to rise up.”
Behave yourself. Sometimes the best way to lean back is by simply modeling the right behavior. When women on staff see you do (or not do) a certain thing, they’ll see that it’s OK for them to make that choice as well. One such behavior is avoiding over-commitment by saying no.
“Saying ‘no’ to some things means you will have the time and energy to say ‘yes’ to the right things,” says Milazzo. “Don’t let your career or life take a backseat to everyone else’s. When women see you boldly make this choice, they’ll be brave enough to do it too.”
Vickie Milazzo, RN, MSN, JD, is the author of the New York Times bestseller “Wicked Success Is Inside Every Woman.” Milazzo is the owner of Vickie Milazzo Institute, an education company she founded in 1982.
