Stop scaring your employees

Most leaders know that command and control is dead and that fear doesn’t motivate employees. But it’s quite the opposite, in fact. That’s why, for the most part, we refrain from doing scary things. Yet according to Christine Comaford, even good leaders unintentionally strike fear in the hearts of their workforce.

“From time to time we all say or do things that spark unconscious fears in our employees,” says Comaford, author of the new book SmartTribes: How Teams Become Brilliant Together. “The primitive ‘fight, flight or freeze’ part of the brain takes control. When that happens, when people are stuck in what I call the Critter State, all they can focus on is their own survival.”

In other words, everything that makes them good employees—their ability to innovate, to collaborate, to logically think through problems—goes out the window. All decision-making is distilled down to one question: What course of action will keep me safest?

So how might we be inadvertently holding back our teams and crippling our own cultures? What, exactly, are we doing to send our people into their Critter States? More to the point, what are you doing? Comaford describes a few (very subtle) offenders:

You “help them out” by giving them solutions. Or, in Comaford’s words, you advocate when you should be inquiring. When we consistently tell people what to do instead of encouraging them to figure things out on their own, we develop a company full of order-takers instead of innovators. By training them to always ask, we create a workforce of employees who are perpetually “frozen” in their Critter State.

On the other hand, when we engage them in solving problems themselves, we create a sense of safety, belonging, and mattering—which Comaford says are the three things humans crave most (after basic needs like food and shelter are met). And of course, we help them develop a sense of ownership that will serve them—and the company—well.

“Start inquiring and see what happens,” suggests Comaford. “Ask, ‘How would you do it? What impact might your course of action have?’ After you do this a few times with someone, she’ll start expecting you to ask questions instead of give orders. She’ll start coming to you with ideas, seeking feedback and validation. And after a few of these sessions, she’ll come to you saying, ‘I have a plan, here it is and speak now if you aren’t okay with it.’ Finally, she’ll stop coming to you altogether.”

You give feedback to employees without first establishing rapport. Imagine for a moment that your employees are antelopes. Because you have authority over them, they quite naturally view you as a lion. It’s not that you’re purposely ruling with teeth and claws. It’s simply their critter brains at work, peering out and “coding” who is a friend and who is a foe. That means unless you can get employees to see you as “just another antelope,” you won’t be able to influence them—they’ll be too busy ensuring their own survival to accept your feedback.

Comaford has a wealth of neuroscience tactics for helping leaders get inside their employees’ heads and truly establish rapport. Most of them are too complex to convey in a short article (Meta Programs are one of the most potent), so here she offers three “shortcut” phrases that help people feel safe enough to shift out of their Critter State:

1. “What if…”: When you use this preface to an idea/suggestion, you remove ego and reduce emotion. You’re curious—not forcing a position, but kind of scratching your head and pondering. This enables someone to brainstorm more easily with you.

2. “I need your help.”: We call this a dom-sub swap, because when the dominant person uses it, they are enrolling the subordinate person and asking them to rise up and swap roles. This is an especially effective phrase when you want a person to change their behavior or take on more responsibility.

3. “Would it be helpful if…”: When someone is stuck in their Critter State and spinning or unable to move forward, offering up a solution will help them see a possible course of action or positive outcome.

You focus on problems rather than outcomes. Being outcome focused feels very different, she explains. It’s empowering and energizing and fills you with confidence. It firmly places you in your Smart State, where possibility, choice, innovation, and higher consciousness are abundant. Victims become Outcome Creators. Rescuers become Insight Creators. Persecutors become Action Creators. So…how do you make the switch?

“First, identify each role that you and the other person are playing,” says Comaford. “Speak to the other person as the positive counterpart. If he’s in Victim mode and you tend to be a Rescuer, don’t say things like ‘I’ll make it better for you’ or ‘Let me help you.’ Instead, say, ‘What outcome would you like?’ and, ‘What will having that do for you?’ If you do this in every conversation, and teach others to make the shift as well, you will transform your cultures and quickly start getting the outcomes you want.”

“All leaders want to outperform, outsell, and out-innovate the competition,” says Comaford. “And most of us have teams that are quite capable of doing so. We just need to stop scaring the competence out of them.”

About the Author:
Christine Comaford is a global thought leader who helps mid-sized and Fortune 1000 companies navigate growth and change, an expert in human behavior and applied neuroscience, and the bestselling author of Rules for Renegades. Her latest book, SmartTribes: How Teams Become Brilliant Together, will be released in June 2013. She is best known for helping CEOs, boards, and investors create predictable revenue, deeply engaged and passionate teams, and highly profitable growth. Her coaching, consulting, and strategies center on increased accountability, communication, and execution.
She is a leadership columnist for Forbes.com and is frequently quoted in the business and technology media. To learn more, visit www.christinecomaford.com.