As I kid, I adored Mad magazine. Alfred E. Newman, Spy vs. Spy, a writing staff made up of the “usual gang of idiots,” parodies of every movie that came out. It was teenage humor heaven delivered monthly.
I also loved the magazine’s Mad Lib section. You might remember it. The idea was to fill in the blanks in sentences and paragraphs of a relatively boring story to make it as wacky as possible. With that in mind, I offer you my Mad Lib version of the traditional GIS and GCSAA conference recap.
The 2008 GIS in Orlando was one of the most (successful; exhausting; Disneyfied; hungover) in history.
The total attendance for the event was (25,000-plus; 1 million, give or take, according to the GIS marketing department; about 12, if your booth was at the far end of the show floor; highly inebriated).
Seminar attendees enjoyed (almost 100 topics; napping at the back of the room; blaming “silent-but-deadly” emissions on the guy next to them; slipping out for golf as soon as they’d signed the CEU sheet).
A highlight of the week was Greg Norman (accepting the Old Tom Morris award; giving a rousing speech about how cool this whole “enviro-thingy” is; flying his helicopter inside the conference hall; getting hot and heavy with Chrissy Evert back behind the Toro booth).
The trade show offered goods and services from more than 800 exhibitors, including (trusted companies offering terrific new products; 86 companies you’ve never heard of selling new super-duper biostimulants; a Titleist rep who thought he was still at the PGA Merchandise Show; a guy named Vinnie from Jersey with a suitcase full of faux Rolexes).
The week wrapped on Saturday with (the conclusion of the trade show; mass exodus to the airport; humping around Disneyworld with an angry wife and two small, hyper kids; futile attempts to hide the beer stains you left on the hotel carpet).
Hey, Mad Lib or no Mad Lib, it was a great show. But the best thing about the GIS? I’ll tell you next year on Bourbon Street. GCI