To the best of my knowledge (which was semi-confirmed by an exhaustive two-minute Google search) none of the Beatles ever so much as touched a golf club. Yet, the Lads from Liverpool – though long disbanded and literally half dead – were the third-biggest stars at this weekend’s Open Championship at Hoylake. Network producers, golf writers and anyone else with a pulse and a microphone managed to work at least 16 stupid Beatles references into every story or TV segment.
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Boy did that get old. It made me feel like I was trapped inside a yellow submarine being banged on the head by Maxwell’s silver hammer. Fortunately, all things must pass and the long and winding road that was the Open reached the end yesterday with the biggest star (Tiger) holding the jug and the second-biggest star (the Royal Liverpool links) inspiring golf traditionalists everywhere.
Hoylake was only vaguely recognizable as a golf course after the R&A padlocked the facility’s pump station several months ago and Great Britain experienced one of its rare but nasty summer heat waves. The conditions around the course could be divided into one of five categories: Dry, Drier, Dormant, Dying or Dead. Because the rough was wispy and the greens had a sprinkling of rain on Wednesday, Hoylake didn’t have the fangs that Carnoustie bared six years ago. But the look of the place definitely raised the whole “brown is beautiful” discussion to new heights.
Pundits waxed poetic about its authenticism and natural beauty. The ghost of Old Tom Morris was invoked so frequently that he had to hire a ghost PR guy to handle the media requests. Maybe, just maybe, the classic course devotees said, this will lead to a new vision of golf that eases the pressure on superintendents in the U.S. to provide perfectly green and manicured conditions. Maybe, just maybe, American golfers will see the light and begin to accept the magnificent originality of Royal Liverpool and its sister courses in the U.K.
Or maybe not.
Listen. Do you want to know a secret? Americans watch the British Open the same way they watch curling at the Winter Olympics; it’s a curiosity they get passionate about for a few days. For the average hacker, it’s like bungee-jumping – looks really fun, but I’ll take a pass, thanks.
Like it or not, the vast majority of American golfers equate green with quality when they step on the first tee. They don’t want nature, they want a Disney-fied version of nature that features perfect turf, impeccable landscaping and hazards that aren’t really hazardous. They don’t want to play against the course, they want the course to be a playing field to compete against their partners. You can analyze it to death, but the fact remains that our culture is extremely unlikely to ever take a step backward from the expectation that they should get Augusta National conditions for their $36 green fee.
And, you know what? That’s good for us. We provide a complex, creative and beautiful product that meets this demand. Because of that, our industry has prospered and our profession has boomed. You know what the average Head Greenkeeper in England earns annually? Usually less than most second assistants or spray techs over here.
Will the mindset in the U.S. ever change? Well, tomorrow never knows, but I doubt it. Don’t look for a revolution any time soon. And, before you wish that we could get back to the old days, remember that the cultural differences between us and our brethren across the pond are also what drive the economic differences, so maybe we should just let it be. GCN
Pat Jones is president of Flagstick, LLC.